3 Ways To Cure The “I HATE HOUSEWORK” Blues

by on April 3, 2013

Do you have the “I Hate Housework” blues?garfield

You only do laundry when there’s nothing left to wear. There are dust bunnies the size of kittens under the couch and things growing in the back of the fridge that Louis Pasteur would find fascinating.

You hate housework because it cuts into your creative time, your at-home-business time, your me-time. And when you do get round to it, you make sure everybody knows … and suffers!

Yup. You’ve got them for sure. The “I-Hate-Housework” Blues.

And you’re going to have to cure yourself before it ruins your life. (click to tweet)

Because the thing that makes one hate housework even more is just how darn repetitive it is.

Dishwashing, bedmaking, vacuuming, dusting … it can be a never-ending cycle.

Depressing.

Unrewarding.

Tedious.

Darling heart, I soooooo know that feeling.

When my kids were small, I felt my house was my enemy … a relentless master who took all the time and energy I would much rather be spending on my theater career, or sewing, or practically anything else.

And the sheer, soul-deadening-est part of it all was …

No matter what I did or how beautiful everything looked, within a few short hours it would all be undone and I was going to have to do it all again tomorrow!!


Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.  ~Phyllis Diller,

I remember this time so well. Not my best memory, I’ll admit.

Let’s face it, sweetheart, we’ve all done the martyr thing.

Well, I know I have. *rueful grin*

You know, the sighing. The cupboard door slamming.

Martyrdom.

But I also remember thinking at the time,

“I have to stop hating housework. I don’t like myself when I feel like this.”

(I know for a fact that the rest of my family didn’t like me much either!)

See, that was the key. Martyrdom felt crappy. Like I was a victim of my own choices, a cog in a wheel of my own making, and there were centuries of housework-is-drudgery programming to back me up and make me right for being miserable.

But I also knew that as with anything, it all comes down to how you look at it.

“If you change how you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Although I wasn’t yet as LOA savvy as I am now, I knew that hanging on to that kind of energy wasn’t serving me. It tainted everything I did and sucked all the joy out of being at home.

So I reframed it.

I decided I would become a House goddess, the CEO/President/Empress of my own domain.

(Even in those days I knew that if you change your label, you could change your life.)

I took control over the area over which I had the most control ~ my house.

Slowly but surely, things began to change.

I took baby steps ~ a chore a day rather than an exhausting marathon of cleaning. I did some major decluttering because having less stuff meant less to dust and organize and made my house seem bigger.

Making Chores Pretty! Making Chores Pretty!

 

I even found a way to love washing dishes!

 

 

 

This was the birth of LOA Nesting, although at the time, I never thought I’d be teaching it. I just wanted to feel better IN-and-about my home.Sweetheart, resentment and a woe-is-me attitude doesn’t make anyone happy, including and especially YOU.

It eats away at your energy, your self worth, your relationship with your kids and your sex life with your spouse. It can cost you money, and time, and joy.

 

So STOP IT!

 

STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!

 

You are a goddess!

 

You are the sovereign queen of your home

 

and it’s time you felt (and behaved!) that way.

 

 

It’s time to take back your goddessiness and make your home into the sanctuary you deserve.

You do not have to become a Martha clone, or even a house goddess, but you do need to get rid of the ‘I hate housework’ energy and replace it with ‘I love my home and that’s why I keep it nice’.

You have a choice.

You can carry on being a martyr, keep focusing on how much you hate housework, and making yourself and everyone else around you utterly miserable;

OR

you can do one of these three things  …

  1. Outsource it …. to a child, a spouse, a machine or a maid. Do it with grace and firmness – but do remember, angel, that there has to be a give and take.Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that if your partner is the solo breadwinner and you’re home all day, it’s your job to run the house. Don’t expect him to have to clean/cook/babysit when he gets home.Now before you get your knickers in a knot, let me clarify.I’m not saying he shouldn’t have time with the kids, or pitch in to help, or cook if he loves it. I’m saying that YOU are the CEO of your home, and the organization, routines, day-to-day functioning of your household is up to you.If you’re BOTH earning, then split the house management up as you see fit. This is what partnership and marriage is all about.Talk about what each of you likes doing, hates doing, and is fine with leaving undone. Talk about what your ‘perfect home’ might look like and see if you agree. Or can find a compromise. Find what works best for you as a couple and work as a team to make it a reality.In my 31 years of marriage, my Husband Muffin has never cooked a meal or changed a diaper, but he provided the money so that I could be home while our kids were growing and I thank him by having a tidy house and dinner on the table when he gets home.
  2. Share it … have the kids take turns. Or make it into a game with the little ones and play “race the timer”. Or maybe if you wash, your husband dries. He vacuums, you dust.Again, you’re blessing your home with care and attention. Focus on how good it feels when it’s done, not on how much you’d rather not be doing it, and find ways to make it easier and quicker.
  3. Embrace it … change your attitude, count your blessings and get on with it.Celebrate the fact that you have a roof over your head and loved ones to care for. Find little ways to make your chores more pleasurable,  and then celebrate how good you feel when it’s done. Leonie Dawson talks about creating a Goddess Haven. It’s an outside reflection of you … and it deserves your care and attention.

We all have history of housework being used as a punishment or a chore.

I talk about this in LOA Nesting, because, darling heart, blessing of your home is an act of self-care and love.

By doing the ordinary, repetitive things, you make your home a safe and beautiful sanctuary, you make your life luscious.

You up-level your standards and you reflect what you believe you’re worth.

In doing them with a grateful and happy heart, you say to the Universe, “Look! I’m a great steward to what I have. I’m ready for more of the good stuff.”

If you decide to hand a task over to someone else, do so with confidence and dignity. No manipulation. No whining.

But whichever way you choose to deal with it, the ‘I Hate Housework’ blues must end.

You’re so much more glorious than that.

Bliss-ings,
JacquiName1

 

 

 

 

 

So, how to you feel about housework, angel? Love it? Hate it? Don’t do it at all?

Do share your thoughts in the comments below … especially if you have some useful tips on how you handle housework.

And if you’d like to join us in The Parlour, where we talk about all things relevent to UPlevelling your life, (housekeepery included), your silver-plated invitation is here.

 

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{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Jackie April 3, 2013 at 1:25 pm

I like to put some music on and rock out while I clean house. Even if I can’t enjoy the work, I enjoy dancing around and it makes it go faster.

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Nathalie Villeneuve April 4, 2013 at 10:34 am

I Love this Jacqui…especially these days cause like i was telling a friend the other day…my kids clothes are SO big now that it takes 5 loads to do what i use to do in 1 when they were small. I don’t hate housework…but I wish it would not get “undone” so quickly. I love your tips…thankyou for these sweet reminders 😉

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John Gough April 4, 2013 at 11:23 am

Hi I like to get housework done as fast as possible and I will time my chores and see if I can beat the time the next time, trying to do them as quickly as possible and treating as part of my exercise regime. Cheers John

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Dyon April 5, 2013 at 8:03 am

Hi Jacqui, got to see your post after a long time, but trust me it made feel happy the same way it did earlier. Talking about the house chores, they are a thankless job. A housewife inspite of doing everything, doesn’t get much appreciation. I think this might be a good reason for most women to hate it.

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Sam April 10, 2013 at 1:12 am

Generally I like cleaning and keeping my house looking beautiful. It is only those times when I am either bored of doing the same thing again and again or I don’t feel like doing something, that I hate cleaning. But you have given me a way to help my problem, thanks for sharing Jacqui.

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Diane Clark April 18, 2013 at 3:40 am

Oh, I love your description of ‘I hate housework’ blues. It’s definitely my case. I was happy to know that someone else feels the same. When I get the blues, I think of the ancient times when we had no machines and had to do all the work on our own. Sometimes these thoughts are really comforting

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Israa Mohamed September 28, 2013 at 12:29 pm

Hello,
I went online searching for a solution for my “I hate housework” and that’s exactly what I searched for. I was lucky to come across your post, I was so glad to know I am not the only one who feels like this. I hav en married for just 6 months and I live in a big country house today I picked a fight with my husband and just sat and cried .
Your post made me feel so much better and I will try I put I into action.
Cheers!!! 🙂

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Melody November 29, 2013 at 5:32 pm

Great article! No one else is applying the LOA to the mundane aspects of our lives like this.

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Jacqueline Gates November 29, 2013 at 5:38 pm

I know, right?! Thank you for noticing, Melody. This is exactly what I’m talking about.

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April January 15, 2015 at 4:47 am

I loved this article. I don’t feel at all like a household goddess nor do I want to be. Even the thought of tackling the piles of stuff or the dishes makes me feel nauseous – and no I’m not being funny. The odd thing is I actually like doing laundry – everything but putting it away. It stays on the couch or folding table. I love to cook but loathe the thought of doing the dishes – and I have a dishwasher. I’ve always wondered why people dust every day or even week. My stomach twists into knots just thinking about cleaning off the top of the deep-freeze to find my frozen soup stock. I have ADD and I hoard. Carrot tops and chicken bones and bits of veg go into the freezer for vegetable stock. I have to get at the root of why this happens. I find monotony, drudgery and boredom soul destroying. I would gladly pay a maid but they don’t declutter. I would have to clean up the clutter to get one to come in. I’m sixty and would like to get on top of this while I have time left to do it. My husband won’t lift a finger in the house. Any ideas about why I react like that with nausea and my mood plummeting at the thought of putting things away?

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Jacqueline Gates August 1, 2016 at 4:37 pm

Ms April, there’s a whole lot going on here that is really beyond the scope of a blog comment.

May I invite you to take a look at LOA Nesting?

And/or pop over to Facebook and ask to join the Parlour.
There’s lots of Lovelies there who have asked the same kinda question,
and solved it.

I’d love for you to join us.

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LazyCat August 1, 2016 at 1:38 pm

Dear April:

What is LOA? I loathe, despise housework and HATE my house. HELP!! I wish I could be a penpal with April, sounds like we could help each other.

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Jacqueline Gates August 1, 2016 at 4:34 pm

Dear LazyCat, LOA stands for Law of Attraction.
The way-of-being that was made mainstream by the movie, The Secret, but had been around for ages before that.

I believe that you can actually change your life by changing your environment and that our homes have much to say about what’s going on inside our lives/dreams/hearts.

“As within, so without”, the Emerald Tablet says.
I say it works vice versa too.

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Mary November 18, 2016 at 7:37 pm

I guess I’m the only one who’s old that has read this article. I’m 70 years old. I live alone and I hate housework. I could hire a housekeeper but I’m embarrassed (sp.) of my messy home.

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