Intent vs Goals Part 2

by on December 28, 2010

So, to continue our conversation from last week, I’d like to clarify what I think has been lacking in my own approach to goal setting.

All too often I thought I was aiming toward a specific goal when, in fact, what I really wanted is the Feeling I thought achieving that goal would provide.

Perhaps you’ve done this too?

  • The goal is to lose weight ~ We Say it’s to be healthier but we really want (ie our intent) is to feel drop-dead sexy;
  • The goal is to make more money ~ but what we really crave is to feel financially safe and secure;
  • We want to work from home ~ but what we really want is that feeling of being in control of our time, our work, our lives.

Let’s take these examples just a little further …

  • What happens when you DECIDE to go on a low calorie diet to lose that beastly extra 20lbs of baby fat?
    (Yes, the baby’s 21 years old but this is not about me!)

    You might, through sheer will power, lose the poundage but you still don’t feel sexy so the weight returns, right?

    Now what if you pursued Feeling Sexy instead?

    • You take up belly dancing because it feels good to revel in your curvaceousness;
    • You start eating like the French do, tiny decadent portions with a glass of your favorite red wine?
    • Throw in some candlelight and sparkly dinnerware and suddenly you’re not eating as much and the weight’s magically dropping away.
  • You want to make more money (who doesn’t?) so you throw yourself into hours of extra work and kissing up to the boss, but you end up on the pink slip list anyway when the company struggles.Or you join a network marketing company to create a second income stream, and within two months your friends are avoiding you.

    And to make matters worse, your wife won’t talk to you anymore because she doesn’t like the person you’ve become.What if you focused instead on your intent to feel safe and secure?

    • You adjusted your budget and become a good steward of what you do have, and even though you don’t like to dwell on the possibility of hard times, you start a Cushion Fund because it feels good;
    • you begin studying the basics of investing so that you can take charge of your own portfolio and save yourself the broker fees;
    • in doing so you surprisingly find that you love this investing stuff and you start sharing your new-found passion with friends.
    • Very soon you’ve got a newsletter going, speaking engagements and people are paying you to guide them.
    • And then you realize that you are safe and secure because you’ll always be able to generate an income with what you’ve learned.

I have only just realized the subtlety of this distinction.

You see, I joined SIX network marketing companies in an effort to “Make more money”, but what I really, really wanted was to Empower myself. And then show others how to do the same.

So of course, none of those businesses worked succeeded, (duh!) until I quit everything and began to hone in on my intent.

I would never have found that out if I had stuck with my goal of growing an MLM team, because I wasn’t happy doing it!

“When you finally allow yourself to trust joy and embrace it, you will find you dance with everything.” ~ Emanual

So, my scrumptious ones, when you find yourself contemplating the year past and formulating plans for 2011, allow this new awareness to guide you in your goal setting.

  1. Look over your past unfulfilled goals and give some thought to what Feeling you were trying to accomplish through that goal.
  2. Write the feeling down in an Action Statement. For example, if you want to feel financially secure, you could say “Today I’m finding endless opportunities to feel like I have enough money for my needs. I love feeling secure and safe.” Finish your statement with “This is what I’m intending, this or something better.”
  3. Keep yourself open to ways of feeling more secure. Perhaps you balance your checkbook, or only buy the groceries that are actually on your list, or update your resume to be ready for a job interview. Or pick up the phone to book that home party. Whatever you can do, do it.
  4. Rinse and repeat.

Stay aware.

Stay open.

Take action when you feel good doing so.

And watch the magic happen.

Because when your goals align with your intent ~ the universe conspires on your behalf.

Dahlings, if you liked this post, do invite your friends to the conversation by sharing it on FB or twitter. And don’t forget to comment below so we can chat!

Keep that statement with you and read it OFTEN, preferably out loud but at least several times a day.

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

C.L. ATKINS December 28, 2010 at 2:28 pm

Great information here Jacqueline! That pretty much hits the nail on the head and should open a lot of eyes and get some ideas stirred up.

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Jacqueline Gates December 28, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Thank you, sir! So glad you came to visit!

What great plans do YOU have for 2011?

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Melissa McCloud December 28, 2010 at 5:28 pm

isn’t it amazing how when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change?

( you gave me a lot of ammo for herbalife, too! )

what a PERFECT POST for new year’s… great job Goddess!
Melissa McCloud´s last blog post ..Why Your Friends Really Hate You

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Jacqueline Gates December 30, 2010 at 7:15 pm

It IS amazing, indeed, and this shift in focus is already making a difference in my approach to 2011.

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Jackie Schwabe December 29, 2010 at 9:16 am

Ah, how wonderful this post is. I really relate to the idea of setting goals and then meeting them just to go back to the way I was before. I also think that you are right, intent is the key. I have found that for years I have been unhappy at whatever job I hold no matter how good things are but could not figure out why. I want to loose weight, but did not think of the why. My husband and I often talk about finding out passion so that we can do it every day. But, in the end I think I might have been shooting for and meeting someone else’s goals perhaps. I need to re-evalute my intent and then perhaps the way that I go about traveling along my path and the journey of life will not be so much to reach the finish line, but to feel the way that I have always dreamed of feeling. Hum, let’s see how 2011 goes then shall we?
Jackie Schwabe´s last blog post ..Who Cares if I am Pollyanna!

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Jacqueline Gates December 30, 2010 at 7:12 pm

I too have had way too much discontent surface when things appear to be going swimmingly according to my pre-set goals. Perhaps setting the Intent first and then, like Sire says, letting the goals just happen, is a more in-alignment way to go?

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Kellie Hosaka @network marketing home business training December 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Aloha Goddess Jacqui!

Oh, your post is so delicious! You are so right in that we are all desiring a “feeling” and that’s why we do what we do. Once we find our “why”, why we are striving or doing what we do, the answer will be clear.

And yes, the Universe is always conspiring with us! When we “walk” towards “feeling good”, everything magically flows. It’s so much fun! Surrender, be open, and be happy!

Thank you so much for always sharing your heart!

Much love & gratitude,
Kellie 🙂
Kellie Hosaka @network marketing home business training´s last blog post ..Your Closest Friends Affect Your Income And Your Happiness

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Sire@Knights Inc. December 30, 2010 at 6:36 pm

You know Jacqueline that you inspire just as many men as you do women, and I don’t mean in a sexual way, although you do quite well at that as well. 😉

This post is one of those posts that has the potential to provide that ‘light bulb’ moment for many people and it would be remiss of me if I didn’t help it a long.
Sire@Knights Inc.´s last blog post ..Sometimes It’s Better To Just Not Give A Shit

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Jacqueline Gates December 30, 2010 at 7:04 pm

You do surprise me, dear Knight! I know I have a tendency to write to/for women, and I’m always utterly delighted when I can touch reach a man as well!

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Sire@Knights Inc. December 30, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Naturally I can’t speak for all men Jacqueline, but I’m sure I can’t be the only bloke that you inspire. As for those others, well they just don’t know what they’re missing.
Sire@Knights Inc.´s last blog post ..A Blogger’s Christmas Wish- Love And Peace To All

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Jason January 5, 2011 at 2:30 am

Jacqueline – Great examples of the difference between intent and goals. I once found myself chasing a certain goal, but when I obtained it I still didn’t get a feeling of accomplishment. You have to be able to tell the difference between the two if you wish to truly be satisfied.
Jason´s last blog post ..Things To Learn About Online Beat Sellers

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Bill Cowan January 6, 2011 at 5:29 pm

New here Jacqueline and I really appreciate your examples and great information to help guide me and help me make good decisions and stick to them

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Donna Stewart January 7, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Thanks Jacqueline! Great post and wonderful advice about goals…:) I will be sharing!

Donna Stewart
http://www.homebusinessreality.com
Donna Stewart´s last blog post ..Weekly Wisdom – Lessons from 2010!

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Nicole Rushin January 8, 2011 at 11:45 am

An excellent post. Similar to what I have said in my last post on Marketing as Art. We don’t want the boots we want the comfort. This can be said with goal setting also. I think the clarity with which you explain this will get a lot of people thinking. It will sink in like a feather. Sigh…Thank-You Goddess.

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Vanessa@Social Media Consultant January 8, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Jacqueline:

Thank you so much for this post. It truly gave me a new perspective on how to look at my goals. You are so right. I am always looking for some specific feeling when I set a goal or intention. I believe I do need to focus more on the feeling than on how to achieve the goal.

Live with passion and purpose,
Vanessa
Vanessa@Social Media Consultant´s last blog post ..Why Are You Using Social Media

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Jacqueline Gates January 8, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Glad you liked the post, Vanessa, and even more pleased that it got you thinking.
Feelings are the most powerful tool we have and using them properly puts no goal out of reach!

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Melodie Kantner January 8, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I love this post Jacqui. I have been doing this in business but I have really struggled with it in weight loss. I love your tips about pursuing feeling sexy. I’ll have to try those.

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Jacqueline Gates January 8, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Goddess Melodie, I promise you’ll be amazed at how powerful feeling sexy can be! Seriously, dahling, a little lace, a splash of exotic oil and candles at the dinner table and suddenly your senses are heightened and you begin to eat mindfully.
And that makes all the difference.
Let me know how the dance class goes ….

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Linda Thomas, Entrepreneur January 8, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Hi Jacqueline,
How fun. I am glad I followed my instinct and found your blog tonight. I read your comment on my blog earlier, and I followed you on Twitter, but when it came to FaceBook, they would not allow me to friend you. Something needs to be done about that.
So when I finally caught up to your blog, I had a great time.
I am a HR professional and work with people in all walks of life on Goal Setting and Accomplishment. I have followed the expert advice of Brian Tracy, and it works. But you have a new twist that really is the truth and should be very helpful for a lot of people.
It seems that you enjoy your blog and bring joy to a lot of people. Glad we have connected, and looking forward to a lot of fun in this new year.
All the best,
Linda

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Jacqueline Gates January 12, 2011 at 10:27 am

Greetings, Linda! I just adore that you ‘followed your instinct’ and found me ~ we goddesses connect in the oddest ways and there’s always Fabulousness brewing when we do! I’m a huge admirer of Brian Tracy and follow his guidance all the time, especially to ‘eat that frog’!
But it’s been interesting that when I’m focusing on how I want to FEEL, eating the frog isn’t so hard and sometimes there isn’t one at all!

(For those of you who think you’ve wandered on to some exotic foodie channel, you need to read Brian Tracy’s Eat That Frog. Great book on dealing with procrastination.)

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Linnea January 11, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Hi Jacqueline,

Great post. It brings to mind Dr Dyer’s Power of Intention…and what folks say about visioning (that you need to incorporate the ‘feeling’ beneath the desire). Your post brings it all together. It also makes me think of the book “What’s Your Genius?” because it sounds as though you’ve found yours 🙂
To your success, ~ Linnea

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Jacqueline Gates January 12, 2011 at 10:20 am

Oooh I hadn’t heard of “What’s your Genius?” but it sounds intriguing, although I’m not sure I’ve fully uncovered mine yet lol

Thank you for the reminder of Dr Dyer’s book too. I’d completely forgotten I’d read it, but obviously it sank in subconsciously to finally emerge now that I’m ready. Interesting how that happens, isn’t it?

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Paul Reimers January 12, 2011 at 1:33 am

Great Post Jacqueline,

I love that you are focusing on the feeling that the goal will give you rather than the goal itself. Aristotle said that everything we do is ultimately to achieve the feeling of happiness. Some might argue and point out angry or destructive behaviors, but if we look down the bumpy road of what the person’s intent is, some feeling of happiness is the ultimate destination.

Seeking states instead of external conditions can really free us up to make creative leaps like you have done.

Thanks for sharing this.
Paul Reimers´s last blog post ..Abundance in Four Minutes

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Jacqueline Gates January 12, 2011 at 10:17 am

Hmm I love the way you put that ~ “Seeking states instead of external conditions”. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing but never managed to phrase it so succinctly. And of course, Tony Robbins is a huge proponent of changing your state to achieve your goals.
I think when you’re in the right State, and the goal is in alignment, the flow will effortlessly carry you to where you want to BE.

Thanks for the awareness, Paul.
You’ve made it so much clearer for me and therefore easier to explain to others.
Much appreciated, sir!

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Beth Allen January 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Oh dear goddess, what a decadent post! This is such an important distinction, and for the lucky ones who get it, it is amazing and beautiful to experience that the universe really does conspire on your behalf!

It has been a while since we connected, and it is an absolute delight to see the way you’ve stepped into your power so fully and are shining your love and light so deliciously for all to bask in. 🙂 Thank you for being so extraordinary, Jacqui!
Beth Allen´s last blog post ..Add More ing to Your Life!

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Willena Flewelling January 30, 2011 at 3:24 am

I like it! I have to do a little digging yet to find out what it is I really want. As in, WHY did I gain back that 90 lbs. after keeping it off for 5 years??? Don’t I want to be thin? and healthy? and gorgeous? Don’t I want to feel good? What am I afraid of?

Oops. Now I’m asking a different question!

Again, thanks for making me think.

Willena Flewelling
Willena Flewelling´s last blog post ..When You Talk to Yourself- What Do You Say

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Mark Testa@southern california list on MLS November 11, 2011 at 2:25 am

Great tips! Coming from a true expert. I’ve always valued your tips and find them really applicable for everyday use. There’s always a new sense of inspiration whenever I read your posts.

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