I’ve Been Keeping a Secret From You … And It’s Been Killing Me!

by on August 4, 2011

Ok, scrumptious ones … it’s time this goddess came clean.

Watch this … I know it’s a bit longer than usual, but there are some  important lessons buried within!



Sooo … what can YOU take away from my rather waffle-y confession?

    • Transparency and Honesty in marketing is EVERYTHING!If you have something to hide, it’ll cramp your creativity and stifle your abundance.Enough said!
    • Your Mess can be Your Message!As I proved when I ‘came out’ on my dismal MLM track record in my Great Quitting, when you admit to having been in a hole, and share how you’re getting out of it, that becomes a powerful message.There are so many folk out there in the very same situation as you’ve been in.They’re hungry for hope and leadership, and YOU could give that to them.You could be their hero, if you’ll just be YOU!
    • There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with having a job while you’re building your empire!Actually, quite the opposite, your job can fund your transition from employee to entrepreneur, although I will admit that it takes some extra work and awareness, and maybe a “vaccination“!What IS wrong is demeaning your employment (like referring to it as a J.O.B, aka just over broke) and acting as if it’s not important in the grand scheme of things.This goddess gets rather steamed up on this topic, can you tell?!
    • Don’t Worry About The Cursed ‘Hows’When I left Starbucks to work online, I never dreamed I would discover that without regular face-to-face contact, I would wither away like an under-watered houseplant.I’d found my Passion and my Niche, and I was blinkeredly focused on finding that place where all my wannabe-goddesses hung out. I thought about it daily, envisioning creating a whole army of goddesses whose empowerment and ‘live-life-on-my-own-terms’ attitude would slowly change the world.Quite frankly, I didn’t know ‘How’ I was going to find them.I thought it was online ~ you know, Facebook, YouTube, Google+.But it wasn’t online at all.

      It turns out it was at the mall!

      In his book, “Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams“, (mind blowing and highly recommended), Mike Dooley talks about the Cursed Hows, and how trying to work out the mechanics of HOW your vision will manifest will basically handcuff the Universe and drastically delay the realization of what you wish for.

      How right he was!

      I hadn’t been focusing on allowing, I might not have gone to the mall that day, and mentioned my social claustrophobia to the VS manager, and I would never have ended up in precisely the place I needed to be to finally clarify and streamline my message and mission.


There’s so much more to share on this topic, scrumptious ones, but this post is already longer than planned so I’ll save it for another day.

But I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Have you bridged the ’employee to entrepreneur’ gap?
Do you work retail but with you didn’t?
Do you love your job and hate that marketers poopoo those who are employed?

Do you think there’s a LIMIT to authenticity? ie it’s ok to NOT tell everyone absolutely everything about your life?

Please comment below, dear heart – you know how I love to chat to you all.

And if you know of any goddesses who are currently employed but would love to work for themselves,
please pass this on.
That would be wonderful!

Till next time, scrumptious ones.


Related Posts with Thumbnails

{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

Joel Banks@Extenze August 4, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Wow, great story. I like how you enjoyed your birthday and then quit your job to follow your passion. But like you said that you are a social being, I have that problem too. I’m a social butterfly, so I have a part time job just to get out and interact with people. I actually know a someone who might like this post, so I’ll pass it on to here. Thanks.


Pedro Cardoso August 4, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Not too many people agree with this, but personally I also do believe that transparency is *indeed* a huge future trend in Internet marketing, especially as consumers become progressively more alert. There was a time when marketing was mostly about tricking people, but that is increasingly a thing of the past! Congratulations on your insight.


Nancy Shields August 5, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Great post my scrumptious one!!! You go with your videos my friend!

You have some powerful information full of insight and knowledge because you had to experience it first before you can tell it.

I have one business that I own and this provides the $$$ for my passion of MakeGirlfriends.com – so I’m in great shape…Haven’t worked for anyone except myself since 1997 and loving life –

Living in the possibilities,


Larry Rivera August 7, 2011 at 7:22 am

Hi Jacqueline,

Great video! One of the things I tell my martial arts students as well as people I market with is this:

Without passion success ,regardless of what it is in will not happen. The flip side of that if you have real passion for something, finding success in it is easy.

I want to share a story with you….

Several years ago, I use to have a J.O.B ==> Thank goodness I am self employed.

Anyhow my boss told me there are 2 types of people in this world. Those that live to work and those that work to live. He wanted people who lived to work in his company. I realized I worked to live. I knew from that moment that I wasn’t employee material.

Thanks for sharing!


Jacqueline Gates August 11, 2011 at 10:10 am

Hi Larry,
Yes, it’s interesting that there’s that moment of illumination, that epiphany, for most entrepreneurs when they realize that employee-ship is not for them.
I’m happy playing in both parks at the moment, but I know that as my fame and business grows, I’m going to be less and less inclined to be dictated to.

And you’re spot on about the importance of passion.
Without it, success is doubtful indeed.

Thanks so much for visiting, sir!


MrCredit@ San Diego Mortgage August 11, 2011 at 2:53 am

Good for You Goddess! Do what makes You happy! You’re helping people discover their beauty, that’s very very cool 🙂 Never worry about following what other people “Think” should be the norm. You go girl. I love it. The Truth will set You Free.

No secrets is the only way to go! People love it! Great work and I look forward to more.

Mr Credit
ESPN Radio San Diego


Jacqueline Gates August 11, 2011 at 10:08 am

Why, thank you, kind sir!

Someone once said that we’d worry less about what people think of us, if we realized just how seldom they actually do!
I’m inclined to agree.

PS I’m intrigued by the ‘ESPN radio’ tag, and yet your site is about mortgages?
This goddess is a HUGE sports fan and is in heaven that we’re actually going to have an NFL season this year lol


Dale@Sacramento Personal Injury Lawyer August 11, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I agree that its the honesty and goodwill that is very much important in marketing


Kellie Hosaka@home business residual income August 14, 2011 at 5:27 am

Aloha dear Goddess!

I love it! That is truly your “gift”! I know you are so skilled at the whole internet marketing and everything, however, I always saw you as a “people” person and you’re obviously really gifted at it! I am so happy you found that you love to BE with people.

I believe we all know what truly “makes our heart sing” and when we are doing that, it’s where work is play and play is work. And it’s fun!!

Oh, I am soooo happy for you…everything is really coming together for you! It’s so wonderful and it is so much fun watching you “Blossom”.

Much love,
Kellie 🙂


Jacqueline Gates August 31, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Kellie, you have such a knack of seeing the ‘true’ person (or in this case, goddess hehehehehe) behind the social shell and facade of ‘should-be’s’, and for that, and your friendship I will be always and ever grateful.


Goddess Lali August 30, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Oh this just gave me goosebumps and giggly thrills! Good for YOU girlie! Why NOT rave about & get a sweet kick out of helping other Goddesses find their gloriously gorgeous selves…or at least a much better fitting, cleavage enhancing bra and all the fun that can ocmefrom THAT!?! VaVOOM! You have spilled the secret of making even the most ho-hum-drum-dumb-ish J-O-B be at least a teeny bit fulfilling: look for how any one teeny tiny little thing you do can touch, enhance and change someone. And, that in turn will change YOU!
BIG Goddess hugs for sharing!


Jacqueline Gates August 31, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Oooh scrumptious one, I just love how you write, and thank you oodles for popping in to visit!
Big goddess hugs to you too!


Donna Thomson August 31, 2011 at 1:50 am

Jacqui, I’m totally in alignment with this. I believe that people are now craving authenticity and I feel, as a spiritual teacher, it’s much more beneficial to others to share my own stumbles and the lessons I’ve gained from it, than to only share the pretty stuff.

I’m also experiencing the shift from work-at-home-behind-the-computer to get-out-there-and-connect-with-people-directly. I’ve been going in circles in the last couple of months trying to package up what I can offer to beautiful souls of the world who need guidance and healing. Then I received an ‘aha’ that it’s time for me to move out, connect and do some hands-on healing with people. I can really feel the benefits of doing this right now and it’s going to give a really solid foundation to what I then do online.

So I think you’re balance of at-home work and in-person work is wonderful. No matter what job we do, we can bring our unique goddess qualities and help others shine!

Donna Thomson´s last blog post ..Your Spiritual Initiation


Jacqueline Gates August 31, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Thank you, dahling Donna. We are all so connected, that the ivory tower (aka home office) very rapidly becomes a prison and tomb.
And sharing more than just ‘the pretty stuff’ is what I believe makes one REAL, rather than a shallow online persona that so many prefer to hide behind.


Ellie Di August 31, 2011 at 7:56 am

I’ve always been so focused on end results, on HOW, in my life, that it’s been difficult for me to allow things to happen organically. But I *know* that kind of attitude will jack up my business and its growth, so I’m working very hard to let go, to open the handcuffs, and let it go. It hit me really hard yesterday, in particular, and I’ve decided to take a step back from all the informational crap I’ve been wallowing in so I can listen more clearly to myself and the universe to see what I’m meant to be doing instead of what I “should” be doing.

Thanks for the backup! :3
Ellie Di´s last blog post ..Lessons Learned From HulkCat About Fear And Happiness


Jacqueline Gates August 31, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Oh, Ellie, I did that for the longest time too! *hugs*
It wasn’t till I read, and reread Mike Dooley’s “Infinite Possibilities” where he cautions against ‘the cursed hows’ that I finally – bit by bit – began to ‘allow’ rather push.
And stepping out of the torrent of info that we are all drowning in, is a great first step.

I went on a Facebook Diet a while ago … the results were life changing!


Jo August 31, 2011 at 3:54 pm

I was just talking about this transition myth to a friend of mine – the myth that making the leap from the 9-to-5 to entrepreneurship is an easy leap once you have the passion. While it is SO worth the ultimate rewards, the early days are scary and isolating. It’s so important to support each other in finding what really works for each of us and not try and mimic what works for others.

Let’s let go of the pressure to be cookie-cutter entrepreneurs!
Jo´s last blog post ..Launching my Happiness eBook


Jacqueline Gates August 31, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Aaah, Jo, such words of wisdom. Scary and isolating the early days can be indeed, and I think THAT’s why so many of us let go of what we really are for what we see as ‘successful’ in others. That’s also why it’s so very important for us to band together and use social media to uplift, encourage and promote entrepreneurial women everywhere.


Allurynn August 31, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Wonderful post and video Goddess! Being true to ourselves and acknowledging what makes us sparkle is sooo important; and being authentic is the way to go for me too!

I too am an employee by day and an entrepreneur by night…and like you said it isn’t an easy shift but we do it 😉 Looking forward to learning much from you!

Creative Blessings,
´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.•´ Goddess.•´¨¨))
((¸¸.•´Allurynn ॐ..•´
-:¦:- ((¸¸.•´*-:¦:-
Allurynn´s last blog post ..Wire Wrap Turquoise Earrings


Jacqueline Gates August 31, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Goddess, you hit the nail on the head. It’s a SHIFT ~ one that we need to master in small increments, day by day, so that we can eventually slip gracefully into full-time work-for-ourself-ness without the risk of a financial crash and burn.

Love that you’re here with me, dear heart.

Don’t forget to opt-in on my list to get my regular notes on this very subject.


Carolyn Elliott August 31, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Jacqui– Thank you for being so open and glorious and you. I’m the same kind of social creature– I absolutely have to be able to flit around people at least once a day or I start to go nuts. It’s folks like you and Goddess Leonie who make me feel like marketing isn’t the scary slimy thing I always worried it would be, but actually just a way of shining divine light.


Jacqueline Gates August 31, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Marketing has got a very bad rap recently, but dahling, that shouldn’t stop you from sharing your lusciousness with the world in every way you can.
When done with the right intentions, love in your heart and a delicious sense of abundance for all, you’ll find marketing can be a deliciously fascinating game and a way of meeting the most wonderful people.


Sara September 2, 2011 at 10:21 am

I am thinking of all those ladies who just went to Victoria’s Secret for a bra and got the miracle of you added into the bargain! Great story.


Jacqueline Gates September 13, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Sara dear, thank you for the lovely thought.

I do try to make each woman feel as goddess-y as possible, and luscious lingerie certainly helps!!


Linnette Dooley September 20, 2011 at 11:29 pm

What a sweet story! I love how you are embracing serving women right where you are. Any customer who is served by you is definitely getting a bonus in the way of a special goddess hello. It’s very fun to think of you sprinkling your goddess gold-dust in this way.
Linnette Dooley´s last blog post ..The Moon is Always Female


Andrew Williams October 3, 2011 at 9:57 pm

You have such a sweet and sincere presentation! I’m humbled by — and have enjoyed so much — your comments on my web log! It’s always such a lift!

And you always seem to tap into the serious humor intended — observing the habits of the rich from my point of view, trying to create some kind of understanding between them and the rest of us — without being too obvious or judgemental. Not an easy task.

I hope my readers click on your name and jump into your lovely world!

Andrew Williams´s last blog post ..Fall Flowers for a Billionaire’s Residence!


Jt Clough | Big Island Dog December 12, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Most fabulous post. It’s all about starting.

I’ve been self employed for a very long time. And I’m a teacher, coach, healer for others to do the same now. In that I have found honesty is the key. I work through things myself. For instance the fear that I faced when I decided to sell my home and give away most of my things and move to Hawaii.

I’m so glad I did it, and I’ve had a lot of practice in walking through fear, but changing everything in my late 40’s… well let’s just say it was another challenge. I learned sooo much and I bursting to share it with those who are unhappy with where they are and want to create their own paradise. The good, the scary, and the divine!
Aloha wags!
Jt Clough | Big Island Dog´s last blog post ..Choosing Your Gifts or Choosing Anxiety


Danica Green@Shopping Bags April 10, 2012 at 6:58 am

Being honest is of great importance in the business world. We must not provide vague statements and promises form our potential clients.


Shân October 9, 2012 at 2:20 am

Hi Jacqueline,
I LOVE your secret. What you say is so true – about needing connection with people in person. I’ve been working from home in my day job for a year and a bit now and find that I need to get out and about on my days off to connect with others. Fortunately, they’re others of my own choosing.

My daughter has worked in retail and you’re right when you say it’s one of the hardest jobs anyone can do. Yet people who work in this area manage to be bright, smiling, cheerful and helpful regardless of the attitudes heaped upon them by others.

I love that you have been so true to yourself and see returning to work in retail as a strength instead of a step backward. So many times we make ourselves stuck because we’re so worried about how others will perceive our actions, when all along what we really need to do is whatever our gut or intuition tells us is the right thing for “us” and it doesn’t matter what anybody else sees it as!

More power to you! Having discovered your wonderful blog, I look forward to further interaction. Blessings 🙂
Shân´s last blog post ..Productivity and "Work"


Jacqueline Gates October 12, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Welcome, glorious one! And thank you oodles for the empathy … I have to admit, I had my heart in my mouth when I hit ‘publish’!

And I too look forward to lots more visits back and forth between our blogs.


Maitri Libellule October 27, 2012 at 9:19 pm


I just joined your group on the Goddess Circle for blogs today and so yours was of course the first blog I came to! AND— I LOVE IT! Our situations are very different. I am borderline agoraphobic and very seldom ever leave the house, BUT I can not only understand why you would want to, or any other women who are really people persons and all of a sudden working alone at home, but what your entry and video did for me this evening is think about all of the things I have been “hiding” (Often without really realizing I was hiding anything!) and how that could be limiting and how “coming out of the closet” with them could help me grow my business faster. I cannot thank you enough for this wonderful, open, honest entry.

The wonderful thing about blogging is that you think that perhaps what you are writing is so specific that only certain people with your similar situation will connect with it, but what we do is open a door for countless people who, when they read what we write, find that something has been sparked in them that they can carry forward as a torch into a dark corner of their own lives or consciousness so to speak. You have illuminated a dark corner for me with this post and I just cannot thank you enough.

Many blessings beautiful soul!

Maitri Libellule´s last blog post ..Answering Questions That People Ask & Laying The Foundation For New Work & Dreams…


Jani Franck April 17, 2013 at 3:53 am

Great to see this post, so lovely and honest and full of truth. I had a similar experience when I gave up teaching to start my arts cafe. I missed it! Now I do both 🙂


Carrie April 19, 2013 at 6:45 pm

Wow…. yes I get it!! I went from teaching Art in the Houston (with quite a nice salary) area to moving back to my home town without a job because I had the dream of my own online business!!! just like Leonie and a “friend” came along thinking he could answer & make my business work on his terms. That was over a year ago and I had to start over completely this last January. I am where I am in a few short months but I live in a small town where there are no jobs and I have absolutely no desire to get out and meet up with people I grew up with. So I’m moving back to Phoenix after 13 years to continue my online business and desire a J O B to teach creativity, art, yoga & might even go back & do hair just to be around people.

Would you believe I chose to go into seclusion since December 2011??? I needed it! I desired it but now I’m looking forward not only to this venture but actually being around PEOPLE again!! Like you, I have a passion to help others (like I did when I owned my own salon and when teaching Yoga to a massive amount of students).

Thank you for your message…superb!! Sharing is Caring!! I need the FIX too!!

Carrie B!

PS I’m in the midst of writing my very first program that I can’t wait to share and plan to offer as CEU credits to Healthcare Workers, Teachers and Artists!!


Billie May 25, 2013 at 10:39 pm

I love your story! It’s important that we learn to do what feels right to us, not do what others feel is right for us. If working retail feels good to you, do it! Who cares if some people think it’s going “backwards”. I guarantee you are happier than those who judge your choice! Good for you for acknowledging what makes you happy and doing what you need to to find that happiness!


Julie Barnes September 9, 2013 at 8:37 pm

Hi Jacqueline!

Great video and I love your presence! I can totally relate to needing to talk to people face-to-face. As much as I love working in my home office and building my business… I too start to crave some “in-person” contact so that’s when I pull up Google and see what kind of networking events are going on my area. I always come home refreshed!

Part of being authentic is being true to ourselves and not worrying what other people might think of us… so if working retail lights you up, then by all means… keep doing it girl! I’m sure your customers really appreciate your fun personality and caring ways.

And you are right about dreams…

I was at the makeup counter a few weeks ago and the lady helping me shared about her dream of one day starting her own makeup line. She was so excited.

Keep Shining!
Julie 🙂
Julie Barnes´s last blog post ..Don’t You Change One Thing!


Jennifer January 25, 2014 at 4:31 pm

Great article! I can totally relate to missing the one on one human contact! I love doing my thing on my own, but I love really being with and even serving people!
We only want it all!


Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

Previous post:

Next post: