My 7 “I’d Really Rather you Didn’ts” – Facebook edition

by on August 2, 2010

I’ve never been one for Commandments ~ I have always had a visceral aversion to being Told what, and what not to do. (Might have something to do with my convent schooling, but then I blame that for a Lot of stuff!)

So rather than lay down the law about how you should behave on Facebook, I thought I’d fulfill the Day 2 requirement of my 31DBBB (write a list post) by posting a mini rant about the things I’d really rather you didn’t do when visiting my page …

So here are

My 7 I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts

~ Facebook edition

  1. I’d really rather you didn’t send an anonymous friend request with no message or even a suck-up type compliment to introduce yourself.As of this writing, this goddess happens to have 731 pending friend requests. Do you realize how tedious it is to wade through those things? It’s like walking into a cocktail party where everyone’s just standing around and nobody’s talking.Dahlings, do yourself a favor – introduce yourself.Or better yet, tell me how gorgeous/talented/fabulous I am and how your life would not be worth living if I didn’t accept your friend request.Or you could tell me something interesting about you. That would work too!
  2. I’d really rather you didn’t pontificate about your  business opportunity all over my wall ~ especially when we’ve only just met.

    Actually, I’d rather you didn’t talk about your biz at any time, but especially not in our very first conversation. “Hi, I’m Bob. Wanna hear about my business opportunity? I sell a patented nutraceutical and I can show you how you can make thousands in your first week …”Seriously, dahlings, would you do that at a cocktail party?
    If so, it explains why you spend your Saturday nights trolling through FB and not, well, you know, actually socializing.

  3. I’d really rather you didn’t use your company logo as your avatar.Now while this may be rather picky, going back to the cocktail party analogy, it does seem rather like walking into the room with a brochure plastered to your face.And as for using the blue FB guy with the Cool Whip hairdo ~ can we say ‘Lame’?
    Dahlings, you are so much smarter than that. Put your gorgeous, happy, smiliest face up there! It’s not difficult to do and we’d really rather see who we’re talking to.
  4. I’d really rather you didn’t display your complete ignorance or disregard for the lusciousness of the English language by massacring it in updates and posts.

    Dear Ones, there is a spell checker embedded in the system. Using it makes you look smarter and shows attention to detail.

  5. I really rather you didn’t call me on FB Chat with some inane  opening line about my eyes, my marital status or how heaven must be missing an angel.

    And don’t you pretend you want to chat and then start blathering on about your patented pharmaceutical. I will just get terribly disappointed in you and start wandering round your page looking for the ‘Block This Person’ button.

    Remember when your mother said she was going to take you to the toy store and took you to the dentist instead? Kinda like that.

  6. I’d really rather you didn’t send me cows, coins, invitations to join your mob or any of the other mindless fluffery that you Dahlings seem to love so much. I have nothing against you doing this – just the same way I have nothing against collecting Beanie Babies or watching soap operas – I just don’t want to distract myself from the lusciously scintillating conversations going on in my virtual lounge.
  7. And finally, Dear Ones, I’d really rather you didn’t use words that cause others to squirm with discomfort or froth at the mouth.

    This includes, but is not limited to – cussing; racism; bigotry; and anything quoted from one of the major religious texts of the world.

    Cussing (ie using the same few four-letter words as adjective, noun and verb) is simply an indication of a lazy mind and limited vocabulary. English is a rich, eloquent language ~ use it well or betray your ignorance.

    The same goes for quotes espousing whichever religious viewpoint you happen to hold dear.While I’m thrilled and delighted that you have found your spiritual home, I have absolutely no wish to hear about it unless it directly pertains to the current conversation.

    Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t share whatever nugget of wisdom makes your soul awaken and your spirit soar, whatever the source – IF it is uplifting and edifying to everyone else.

    I’d just rather you didn’t wield the words of some long-dead prophet  like a mighty cudgel, swinging wildly in the hope of smacking some ‘sense’ into the minds of the cringing crowd.

    It didn’t work back in the day – and it doesn’t work now.Start spouting Biblical phrases on my wall, and this goddess just might post some from the Koran on yours.

    As for racism and bigotry ~ well, that’s really just not acceptable no matter who or where you are.

Now, I’m sure you have something to add to this. So feel free to add your comments/opinion/applause to the conversation and don’t forget to opt-in so you don’t miss an invitation to the next party.

Bliss-ings, Dear Ones

the goddess known as Jacqui

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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Tracey Keefer @ Free MLM Help August 3, 2010 at 5:51 am

Goddess you are correct again why do people do such things on other peoples pages?

I love the list and the way you phrased it all! You say it so nicely, I just get so annoyed it is hard for me to be as nice. That is something I need to work on, although I am not a block happy as you seem to be, I just usually hide the annoying ones and save block for the ones that really tic me off! As in baseball three strikes and they’re out! LOL

“Dream, Believe, Become…”
Tracey Keefer
Tracey Keefer @ Free MLM Help´s last blog post ..5 Pillars of Success- a New Perspective- Pillar 1


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:43 pm

Dear Beach goddess, I’d actually completely forgotten about the ‘hide’ function LOL! Maybe I should be a little more lenient and not ‘smite’ them so readily with the Block button!


Darlene Davis August 3, 2010 at 4:26 pm

While I was shaking my head in agreement through your entire powerful article, Nos. 1 and 6 had me leaping for joy. Why is it so hard to get that an introduction requires a little bit more than a blank? As for No. 6, I’m glad there is a remove button. I want to tell those people to get a life!

Recently an acquaintance asked me four times (yes, on my Wall), to recommend her for Zingle—a singles organization. I barely know this lady. Hopefully, after no response from her four requests, she finally got the hint.

You’ve handled the “gauche” so gracefully, Goddess! Your writing style is fun, entertaining and provocative. If Facebook had headlines, this should/would be the banner one!
Darlene Davis´s last blog post ..Running on Empty


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Thank you, Darlene dear. You always write the most thoughtful and supportive comments and I’m so glad to have written something that makes you leap for joy *hugs*


Kimberly Castleberry August 3, 2010 at 5:31 pm

I love this post! Now can we please just make this required reading for all people before they can use facebook?? Pretty please?

Oh some of these drive me absolutely nuts and I’m so glad to see someone clearing up confused people!
Kimberly Castleberry´s last blog post ..Digg v4 Alpha Brings Two Cool New Features


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:40 pm

You’re so sweet to describe them as ‘confused’ rather than plain ole rude!


Sandhan October 6, 2010 at 7:17 am

I was so thinking of you Kimberly when I read this after reading your addendum to Tricia’s blog post!!
I showed this to Tricia today she she was at my house and we hooted with laughter.. and then I said that she and Jacqueline MUST meet ~at least online!
They are cut from the same cloth….

Talk soon Beloved XX
Sandhan´s last blog post ..Money versus Spirituality- Oneness and How to Heal the Split


Melissa McCloud August 4, 2010 at 4:00 pm

dear jacqui, you are an inner comedian. i am going to pour a cocktail the next time i sit and read your post… for i feel like there should be a two-drink minimum just to enjoy your writing! you are hilarious. my mom never told me a lie to take me to the dentist, but my new friends have certainly blasted my wall with biz ops and links. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK lol thanks for the great share jacqui, i adore you!
Melissa McCloud´s last blog post ..Don’t Begin August Without…


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:39 pm

And the feeling’s mutual, goddess! I’ll join you in that drink too 🙂


Holly August 4, 2010 at 5:16 pm

You are amazing! Well said. I wish I could say it so eloquently ! Cheers to your words of wisdom. I will retweet this and definitely share it!! Love how well you put it!! I must admit a couple of times I have sent a friend request, just to see what happens, but I do my best to communicate eloquently. As for the pitch-a-thon, that drives me nuts!! The cocktail party is the perfect example!!
Holly´s last blog post ..Be Picky About What You Think


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:38 pm

I can’t remember where I heard the Facebook/cocktail party analogy, but it is apt, isn’t it? And if people just kept that in mind, I do believe they wouldn’t be quite so obnoxious!


Kellie Hosaka@home based business August 5, 2010 at 4:42 am

Aloha Jacqui,

Oh, it’s just perfect as you are our goddess! Thank you for saying so much in this post about etiquette on Facebook. I believe most people just haven’t been educated, so postings like yours will assist them. It’s a different language for us and we’re all still learning.

Thank you & aloha,
Kellie 🙂
Kellie Hosaka@home based business´s last blog post ..Do You Ever Feel Stuck In Your Personal Growth


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:35 pm

We ARE still learning, Kellie dear, but unfortunately with so many newbies logging on to FB daily, we have to take a stand on common courtesy and online etiquette or else it’s all going to go down the tubes! Maybe I should repost this each week and hope to reach as many of them as possible.


Cherrie Bautista@Fitness Family August 6, 2010 at 11:53 pm

You’ve pretty much nailed it, Goddess! I don’t even go online to chat anymore because people won’t stop initiating conversations to offer their businesses. It’s annoying! This should be the official Facebook etiquette guide.
Cherrie Bautista@Fitness Family´s last blog post ..Fitness Family 2010 – The Half Year Update


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:33 pm

I’m with you, Cherrie. I leave my FB chat set to ‘offline’ even when I’m there, just to keep the creepies at bay!


Gary August 7, 2010 at 12:05 pm

Gosh Darn,, thats what I’m doing wrong,, lol… Seriously though,, good post,, not enough manners nowadays…


Jacqueline Gates August 7, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Lol, Gary! Now all you need is a photo for your comments and you’re formally introduced!


Julie @ Willow Bird Baking August 22, 2010 at 1:01 am

This is a great list of “I’d really rather you didn’ts”! Love it!
Julie @ Willow Bird Baking´s last blog post ..Wacky Candy Cupcakes- Ferrero Rocher and Reese’s Cup


Sandhan October 6, 2010 at 7:11 am

I just LOVED this post Jacqueline… this should be standard reading for everyone prior to setting up a Facebook account ~ part of the Terms and Conditions.

You must have the same guys plaguing you with chat messages and Inbox mail as ask to date me… for God’s sake I’m in Australia and you’re in New Jersey. Do you really think this has a future?

And why is it after being really polite on chat saying I’m working or I’m busy or “I don’t do chat” some of my ‘friends’ just don’t get it… what part of ‘no’ do they not understand?? How rude do I need to be?

So having vented a bit thanks to your leadership on this topic, let me say again, Madame La Goddesse,
Sandhan´s last blog post ..Money versus Spirituality- Oneness and How to Heal the Split


Jacqueline Gates October 13, 2010 at 9:39 am

Thank you so much, Sandhan!
Sometimes, not only is laughter the best medicine ~ but it can be the best teacher too. Especially in touchy subjects like etiquette and manners.
I do so appreciate you input and for sharing me with your friends. I look forward to meeting Tricia.
Bliss-ings, scrumptious one.


VISHAL PANDE October 6, 2010 at 8:35 am

This article really amused me.Most of the points you have written are really ture.
I will not send you a frn request but would now wait for a frn request from you.




Robert Williams February 17, 2012 at 7:32 am

I will obey these “rules” from now on. Is there “I’d really rather you didn’ts” for twitter? Where can I find it Jacqueline?


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