Refuse To Choose (aka How To Make Your WHOLE Life Luscious!)

by on September 4, 2012

Like many other marketers, I’ve always been taught to find my niche,
narrow down into one tiny category,
master ONE thing
and then work out how to become known for it.

Because that’s what a Business Goddess does, right?

Actually, for me, and possibly for you, that’s wrong.

Recently I read a book that changed that whole concept!

Somehow, angelheart, I picked up Barbara Sher’s
Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams‘;
within a few pages I had to put it down to focus on the
exploding in my head;
and when I picked it up,
I was a different woman.

I realized that I am a Scanner,
and that discovery meant that all my past modus operandi
simply won’t do anymore.

And I cannot explain how delicious free-ing this is.
(although I’ll try in this post.)

You see, more than building a business,

I want to build a movement.

I want to show every one of you gorgeous souls that

And Not just one part of life.


You see, darling heart, while I do realize that the world definitely needs specialists,
and niche masters, and people-who-are-really-good-at-one-thing,

I also believe that most of us need a dollop of help
in a whole lot of areas of life.

Sometimes what we need is someone who can help us see the big picture
and then has the encyclopedic experience to help us
bring all the parts of it into focus.

For example,
you know that if you started taking care of yourself a bit more,
you’d feel good enough about yourself
to ask for that raise,
or ask that guy out,
or not fold under the pressure of the ‘shoulds’ in your life.

But self-care takes time.

And you’re already busy beyond belief.

So how about some help with basic housekeeping routines?

With a little help from your resident House Goddess, (that would be me!)
you could learn how to keep your housekeeping to a wildly effective minimum,
so chores don’t eat up all your free time and clutter doesn’t overwhelm you.

Just imagine, wouldn’t it be luvverly if your nest supported you
and made you feel pampered and rich,
sort of like living in a Bed & Breakfast?

Then maybe you’ll also find time to make an utterly delicious lunch to take to work
so you don’t have to eat at the foodcourt … again.

Then you could shed those extra pounds you hate so much.

Or … you might sit at the dinner table and have a conversation with your family,
rather than eating round the tv
or worse, in the car.

And with better eating and a more organized house,
you might find the time to work on that home business you’ve been struggling with.

Maybe you need help find some kind of balance between kids and home and business?
(‘How on earth do I fit all this in?”)

Perhaps you’d like some tips for branding/marketing/social media?
So that what you do becomes much more effective.

Maybe you’d like some totally I-can’t-believe-it’s-this-easy financial management tips?
You know, so you actually keep the money you make?

Then you’d have the time and the money to take that trip you’ve been dreaming of.

Or to delve into that hobby you’ve been dying to try.


I help make Life Luscious.
ALL of it!

But of course, gorgeous soul, it all boils down to what you think.

And HOW you think!

And sometimes, the hardest thing in the world is to see inside your own head.

To see the patterns that sabotage your every best effort,
the beliefs that bind you to mediocrity,
and hide from you the reality of your true magnificence.

I’m here to be your mirror, sweetpea.

I’m here to hold that space for you that you know deep inside you are meant to fill.

And I’m here to be your Encyclopedia Britanica of Life Enhancers.

Life Can Be Luscious.

Everything I’ve learned
and been shaken by
and cried over
and taken into my soul
has proven this to me,
and has given me the tools
to help others
make their lives luscious too.

And here’s the glorious-est part, sweetheart.

All it takes is for you to  comment below,
and simply say,
“When can we chat?”.

It’s time to stop wasting time on a less-than-luscious life.
I’m here to help.


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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Barbara Charles September 4, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Jacqueline. Really nice information. Sometimes it takes a small thing to give you multiple revelations that move you to change. Change is exactly what is necessary to have a great life. Great call to action.
Barbara Charles´s last blog post ..A Low Wage Jobs Explosion. Feel The Struggle!


Jacqueline Gates September 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Thank you, gorgeous one!


Rebecca Woodhead September 5, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Beautifully put. You’re not alone. 🙂

When I left uni’, I went immediately into entrepreneurship at Director level … whoosh! No safety net. No journey mapped out ahead of me, as we were the first internet marketers there were, so we were just making it all up as we went along. It was magical, but as the market changed and took me more into tenders, numbers, and non-creative stuff, I started to lose my wings. It was so obvious to me that there had to be creativity in my life for me to function. I also realised that I needed to help people to find their directions in life.

At the time, this manifested in me working silly hours. I’d do the boardroom stuff by day, and by night I wrote books, and recorded music in a studio in the middle of nowhere. To satisfy my need to help people find their direction, I set up an offline networking club. It was a big success but life changed, my brother died, and all the bits of my life fell apart.

As I started picking them back up and finding new ones to piece into my life-puzzle, I noticed something. Whenever I went away from that model of entrepreneurial+creative+life-navigational things fell apart. If I focused entirely on one thing and excluded the others, that one thing didn’t end up done better at all. It just lost all its fizz and giggles.

Over the last few years, I’ve built different niches in these areas, and I’ve been slowly trying to stitch those patches together. It’s been hard because these are very different people, and while it makes perfect sense to me that they should mingle, it doesn’t always make sense to them. Now, however, I’ve cracked it. My life is a merry skip through the world of creative and resilient entrepreneurs. My coaching business is stuffed with both writers and business owners; I’m meeting fascinating people; speaking on stage; and I get to write books, make products, and scribble magazine columns. Utter bliss!

The different elements of who I am have never all fitted into one tidy definition that anyone else could invent. It was only when I invented it myself that the universe began to form in the perfect way around that intention. Utterly woo woo. I won’t apologise for that. Not today. It’s part of who I am.
Rebecca Woodhead´s last blog post ..Rebecca Woodhead Speaks to Brendon Burchard About His New York Times Bestseller – The Charge


Jacqueline Gates September 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm

It’s such fun to be able to celebrate all the various bits of who we are.

“It was only when I invented it myself that the universe began to form in the perfect way around that intention.” … LOVE that!


Nancy Norbeck September 8, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Thank you for another reminder that I need to read this book! I’m pretty sure I’m a Scanner, too–more interests than you can shake a stick at, just for a start. It’s always good to be reminder that the square pegs do NOT have to fit in that round hole!
Nancy Norbeck´s last blog post ..Seeking Joy


Leanne September 9, 2012 at 12:34 am

I read this book years ago and have recommended to so many people. For years I was told to ‘find something and stick to it’ but I never could – jobs, homes, hobbies, even friends (I don’t want a best friend to hang out exclusively, I’ll wonder what everyone else is doing!).
Then I read this book and realised it’s ok to change careers every 10 years, it’s ok for my business to include my love of nature AND my love of words AND my love of animals AND my love of personal development AND so much more. I’m so glad you reminded me I don’t need to find a niche!


Jacqueline Gates September 9, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Leanne, it was a HUGE relief to me to realize I don’t have to niche myself!

Let’s celebrate the ‘AND’!!


Tanja @ Crystal Clarity September 10, 2012 at 4:46 am

I vacillate between thinking I’m a scanner, and actually realising that I do better if I can manage to focus on one thing at a time.

I suspect this is something I’m going to need to do some more reading about, Jacqui – thanks so much for the book recommendation 🙂

(and best of luck with the luscious new direction!)




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