Without This One Thing, Goal-Setting Is Frustrating and Useless.

by on January 30, 2013


“Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life.

And not only do we have to put our feelings at the heart of our ambitions, we have to pursue our desires in a way that is life-affirming, rather than soul-depleting. Rigid goal-chasing is burning us out. Soul-anchored intentions are the way to get home.” ~ Danielle La Porte, The Desire Map



Sweetheart, Everything … EVERYTHING … is about INTENTION

Let’s imagine you’re going on a road trip. You set your destination into your GPS and then choose your trip options. In other words, how you want to get there. Will you take fastest time? Or take the more scenic route by choosing ‘Least use of freeways’?

Setting your goals is very similar.

You choose your goal (your destination) and set your heart (GPS) on it. And then off we go, hell for leather.

And it’s absolutely the worst thing we can do!

Because we forget to decide how we want to feel en route!

For example, one of my goals is to fill my coaching practice, but my intention is to reach and UNcover as many goddesses as possible, while still having oodles of time to devote to Husband Muffin and puttering round my nest.

What this means is that I’d better make sure that I keep chunks of my time devoted to creating awesome-sauce products (so I can ‘teach’ while I’m not actually there), improving my skills as a speaker (to reach more people at once) as well as doing all  the things an online goddess does, like connecting on Facebook, blogging, and writing special notes to the luvlies on my list .

Therefore, if I end up devoting all my time to one-on-one clients, I’m going to end up frazzled and frustrated with my Big Picture goals.

Now, you might have a goal to reach Star Fleet Commander status in your network marketing biz, but your intention is to create financial stability for your family and freedom for outside-imposed schedules. So if you don’t set boundaries … for family time, training, self-care … you’re going to end up accommodating everyone else’s schedule, your team will become your ‘boss’ and you’ll be basically back where you started.

See the subtle difference here?

In other words, you could go into a yoga class with a goal to becoming more flexible and skinnier, but for a single class, you set the intention to ‘Be Here’. When your thoughts stray to what happened last night, what you need to do today, and the vague feeling that you’re going to throw up if you bend over one more time …. you remember your intention and return to just Being Here. Magically, your focus returns to your mat, your breath eases, your thoughts calm and you find your balance.

It’s what Abraham calls pre-paving. Before driving to work, you might set your intention to get there safely and on time. Just a few seconds of holding that picture in your head can make all the difference to your commute.

Goal = get to work
Intention = enjoy the trip

Does this make sense to you, angel?

Here’s a few ways you could use this info …

Before you have a possibly awkward conversation with your pre-teen, you might set the intention to be calm and logical and un-embarassed. Your goal is to get to some kind of agreement. Your intention is to be a cool, but firm mom.

When you sign up a new recruit or client, gently but firmly let them know that you’re available between these hours and you don’t work weekends because that’s family time. Your goal is to help that person be successful. Your intention is to not destroy your family life in the process.

If you work from home, let your kids know your ‘office’ hours. Your goal is to make money. Your intention is to be able to spend more time with them.

(In my theatrical days, I used to use a kitchen timer and give my kids firm instructions that, unless there was blood or smoke, I was not to be interrupted until it went off. Then I was all theirs and we’d do something fun.)

So here’s how you set yourself up for goal-achievement rather than another fall off the wagon …

  1. Explore the intentions you have around your Big Goals. Let your inner guidance guide you.
  2. How do you want to FEEL ….. when you lose the weight, get that client, publish that book?
  3. Hold that intention in the front of your mind and do what you feel inspired to do.
  4. If this all still seems a bit vague and you can’t remember or find your soul-affirming goals, give yourself the gift of getting some help – maybe through one-on-one with coaching, or a  program like the Desire Map.

Most of the time we’re not actually after what we think we are, we’re after the feeling that we think that achievement/thing/person will give us.

And the interesting thing is that if we take the time to deliberately set our intentions to focus on that feeling first, we’re far more likely to achieve our goals than if we just have at it with more gusto than guidance.


PS Of course, in alignment with my intention of sharing my message to goddesses absolutely everywhere, I’d be ever so delighted if you’d share this with your friends. You can use the FB and Twitter buttons on the right if you like.


Oh and don’t forget to join in the conversation below and let us know what you think about this distinction between goals and intentions. I’ll make tea while we chat …

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah Park February 3, 2013 at 1:50 am

Very sensible post. Without concrete goals and plans, our road to success will be far from being reachable.


Mario February 8, 2013 at 2:46 am

Hi Jacqui, I have been following your LOA religiously, and I think they will take time to materialize. However I have never heard of intending something and then setting a goal. I will try it out, lets see if this works. I am really happy that you are sharing such effective ways to help us reach our goals, thanks for sharing.


JoLynn Braley March 25, 2013 at 1:35 pm

Great post! I always say, energy flows where thoughts go. Be mindful of your mind! Very wonderfiul advice Jacqui! Thank you for sharing this with us!


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