You are who you let them see.
Let’s get this out of the way first … true glamour has nothing to do with creating a false impression.
You’re not covering up or altering the substance of you.
Any artifice we may apply is external, intentional and strategic.
Glamour is not, as the old definitions would have us believe, the creating of an illusion.
What Glamour does is direct the eye.
In the wardrobe department of the Opera House, on whose stage I starred in many a role, they’d repeat my mantra …
“If the cleavage is low enough, they don’t notice a droopy butt.” (feel free to use that as you wish!)
Crass? Maybe. Useful? Always.
If our individual outside worlds are a reflection of our inside world, then I see Glamour Magic as a strategic tilt of the metaphorical mirror.
Glamour is a form of magic
that tilts the metaphorical mirror of reality just so …
so that they see what you want them to see,
so that you create the effect I desire,
so that you get what you want.
Yes, it’s manipulative.
(But, darling, so is every other manifestation technique.)
That’s its subversive power.
And because it works—it’s been vilified.
True Glamour only enhances what’s already inside you. – kinda like money does.
Confidence, ambition, gender-fluidity … all the things that society has urged us to keep hidden, are highlighted under the spell of Glamour.
This why I don’t believe glamour – whether magic’d or cosmetic – is an illusion.
Glamour doesn’t instill those things. It amplifies them.
So for Glamour Magic to weave its most potent spell, it has to be honest. It has to be true.
And when it is? Ohhhh, it’s potent.
Glamour magic requires – demands – that you own what you want.
And it expects you to go for it.
And when you do, not only will you influence others into seeing you as you want them to, but you’ll see yourself in a whole new light.
When you tilt the metaphorical mirror, you can’t help but see yourself differently.
Bad Girl/Boy Magic
Let’s talk Disney, shall we?
Ever noticed how the villains are always glamorous?
Cruella. Ursula. Maleficent. Even Jafar and Gaston.
Coiffed. Liner’d. Manicured to within an inch of their unapologetic power.
And the sweet little heroine?
Clean-faced. Wholesome. Often in flats.
Why?
Because to claim your powers and use them to get what you want is not what good girls do.
Hellooo, patriarchy.
Being ambitious, avaricious, and powerful?
Admired in a man.
Demonized in a woman.
You already know this. I don’t need to list the examples.
They’re etched into our upbringing, reinforced in every storybook, every office space, every side-eye when we show up in red lipstick and a plan.
And the most demonized of all is the woman who uses what she has – her feminine form, her intuitive knowing, her brain and her smarts – to get what she wants.
That’s when it’s called seduction rather than salesmanship.
Gold-digging and greed rather than going-places.
Bitch instead of boss.
Glamour magic requires that you get okay with this.
And take delight in it.
Because just like Dita Von Teese built an empowered empire out of an industry rooted in misogynistic voyeurism, so Glamour Magic will make you get really honest about how willing you are to be seen in your desire, in your wanting, in your greed.
Are you up for that?
“Beauty is. Glamour does.”
Deb Castellano taught me that in her seminal book, Glamour Magic ~ The Witchcraft Revolution to Get What You Want.
Glamour is – at first – an artificial construct. It’s something you DO.
It takes time and effort and diligence to tilt your metaphorical mirror just so by adjusting your look, your style, your mindset, your attitude.
It takes devotion and stamina to hold it at that angle until it becomes your default setting.
In other words, Glamour takes work.
And weirdly, people will find this off-putting.
“If you look like you put a lot of effort into something,
then somehow, inexplicably, it becomes of less worth to others.” ~ Deb Castellano.
We all want to believe that beauty, love and success are effortless.
Which is why we spend so much time looking for the golden ticket, the latest potion, the 10 Key Tips To Making A Million Overnight.
Glamour Magic is the result of taking the intrinsic ingredients of YOU and rearranging them in a way that opens doors, because you’ve chosen to stop waiting and open them yourself.
That takes work, devotion, and time.
It also takes self-centered-ness, raw honesty, ambition and courage.
It doesn’t look effortless because it isn’t.
Until one day it does.
And it is.
How YOU are you willing to be?
True glamour isn’t about putting on a costume. Or conforming to societal standards.
True glamour is the strategic, deliberate highlighting of everything within you that will get you what you want.
Notice I didn’t say highlighting your best bits.
Or even your nicest bits.
In my experience, Glamour Magic can be a tough coach.
You can’t just highlight the bits you love about yourself, the safe and sanctioned attributes you’ve center-staged till now.
She knows not where your power is.
Glamour’s gonna ask you to not only own the bits you’ve hidden but to celebrate them.
Put them front and center.
Honour and brandish them.
Some of the most spellbinding (aka glamourous) women have been celebrated for their unwholesome traits – the wickedly sarcastic (Dorothy Parker), the utterly amoral (Anais Nin) and the risqué-to-the-point-of-illegal (Mae West).
This is the risk you take.
Your desire demands no less than absolute commitment.
So your glamour work starts with introspection.
What do you really really want?
And what do you have within you that can help you get there?
Exhibit A – Moi. And my Glam Transformation
For more years than I care to remember, I tried to be more goth.
I had such issues around not being dark and mysterious and feisty and Joan-Collins-In-Dynasty alpha.
I was terrified of being dismissed as shallow and too-sparkly-to-matter.
Glamour magick taught me to own the fact that I will always be more Glinda than Maleficent.
But you know what?
I discovered that Maleficent is soft-hearted. And Glinda is a bitch.
Seriously. I mean, look at the facts – Dorothy emerges from the freshly landed house and by the time Glinda shows up, Dorothy is already wearing the legendary shoes!!
Does Glinda say, “Oh hey, sweetie, you don’t need me. You’ve already got what you need. Just click those heels and you’ll be out of here.”
Oh no.
Glinda is, after all, a Glamour Witch. She knows what she wants and she’s willing to use her sparkle, her effervescent luminousness to achieve her own ends.
She wants a certain green-tinged witch annihilated and guess what? She just got gifted this tourist.
So what does she do?
She smiles, tilts the mirror just so, and sends Dorothy off she goes to do her dirty work.
So who’s really the wicked witch here?
Glamour magic made me own the very things I liked the least about myself, the things I thought were getting in the way of making an impact the way I wanted to … aka my light. My sparkle. My apparently eternal ingenue vibe – despite being well into my seventh decade.
AND it got me to own my ambition, my hedonism, my deep abiding addiction to luxuriousness.
It also made it unequivocably clear in late 2017 that I had created a situation for myself that I simply couldn’t thrive in. I made the most selfish decision of my life and it transformed my life.
Dahling, you’re going to have to find your own frequency, that exquisitely exclusive mix of bass (base) notes and higher octaves that are as uniquely you as your fingerprint.
Now, I can help fast-track that unfolding – it’s my full time job now – but in the meantime, I recommend you start by interviewing your Future Self.
A Date With Your Glamour
Let’s make this practical.
Glamour Magic isn’t theory—it’s technique.
Make an appointment – a deliberately scheduled time – and honour it like you’re meeting someone important.
I suggest going to a coffee shop, an art gallery, a 5-star lobby or some place that feels decadent and luxe to you.
If you choose to be at home, bring out your special crockery, your crystal champagne flute, and have on hand the most decadent of treats.
Wherever you choose to hold this meeting, I’d suggest a sacred container of time and as little distraction as possible.
You’ll need a notebook and two different coloured pens. Decide which one is your voice and which one is hers. You’ll write your questions in one and her answers in the other.
Settle in and wait for her to arrive.
She will.
When she does – this Enchanted Enhancement Of All You Are – take note of what she’s wearing, what she smells of and how she holds herself.
One pen is yours. One is hers—your Glamourous Future Self.
Write a question in your voice. Then switch pens and answer as her.
Ask her:
- What are you loving about your life right now?
- What do you wear?
- What do you never tolerate anymore?
- What did you have to do to become this version of yourself?
Give her your confusions and worries (write them in your notebook) and then swap pens and let her repudiate or reframe them. (She will.)
Ask her how she spends her day, what she’s loving about her life.
Most importantly, ask her what she had to do to get there.
What attributes did she highlight, what skills did she hone, what risks did she take?
This interview becomes your Glamour Blueprint. Start living according to her instructions.
Do this as often as you can.
Weekly is minimum.
Daily is not too often.
Mirror, Mirror … Let’s Talk Spells
Words carry frequency.
Frequency creates identity.
So here are two of my own enchantments – take them, adapt them, make them yours.
🪞 Daily Mirror Spell
Say this as you apply your moisturizer or night cream, looking into your own eyes:
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
I am recognized by all,
For my wisdom and my grace
And the glamour I embrace.”
Make your own version. Start it on a powerful day—new moon, full moon, your birthday.
Say it every day, without fail.
And one from the Archives
In 2019, I began drawing a sigil on my arm every day with an eyeliner pen. The sigil was an amalgamation of Vesta, Aries, and Libra – the three main energetic and astrological themes of my business, natal chart and life.
Every morning, I’d inscribe myself and say my mantra.
Every evening, I’d take it off with eye-makeup remover, and intend that overnight, I recalibrate to the latest resetting.
If eye makeup is not for you, this may be an option.
It was an act of devotion. An embodied spell.
And it worked like gangbusters. In 2020, I made my 2019 annual salary in one month.
Repeatedly.
Final Thoughts: Glamour Is Not a Game—It’s a Gateway
Glamour Magic is not about vanity.
It’s about volition.
It’s not about surface.
It’s about sovereignty and deep self-ownership.
When you start tilting the mirror of reality, with strategic intention to reflect your desires,
life responds.
People respond.
You respond.
You’re no longer waiting to be chosen. You’re choosing yourself.
You are becoming who you’ve always known yourself to be
with lipstick, liner, and luscious levels of unapologetic self-ownership.
Prepare to be enchanted.
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