You only do laundry when there’s nothing left to wear. There are dust bunnies the size of kittens under the couch and things growing in the back of the fridge that Louis Pasteur would find fascinating.
You hate housework because it cuts into your creative time, your at-home-business time, your me-time. And when you do get round to it, you make sure everybody knows … and suffers!
Yup. You’ve got them for sure. The “I-Hate-Housework” Blues.
And you’re going to have to cure yourself before it ruins your life. (click to tweet)
Because the thing that makes one hate housework even more is just how darn repetitive it is.
Dishwashing, bedmaking, vacuuming, dusting … it can be a never-ending cycle.
Darling heart, I soooooo know that feeling.
When my kids were small, I felt my house was my enemy … a relentless master who took all the time and energy I would much rather be spending on my theater career, or sewing, or practically anything else.
And the sheer, soul-deadening-est part of it all was …
No matter what I did or how beautiful everything looked, within a few short hours it would all be undone and I was going to have to do it all again tomorrow!!
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. ~Phyllis Diller,
I remember this time so well. Not my best memory, I’ll admit.
Let’s face it, sweetheart, we’ve all done the martyr thing.
Well, I know I have. *rueful grin*
You know, the sighing. The cupboard door slamming.
But I also remember thinking at the time,
“I have to stop hating housework. I don’t like myself when I feel like this.”
(I know for a fact that the rest of my family didn’t like me much either!)
See, that was the key. Martyrdom felt crappy. Like I was a victim of my own choices, a cog in a wheel of my own making, and there were centuries of housework-is-drudgery programming to back me up and make me right for being miserable.
But I also knew that as with anything, it all comes down to how you look at it.
“If you change how you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Wayne Dyer
Although I wasn’t yet as LOA savvy as I am now, I knew that hanging on to that kind of energy wasn’t serving me. It tainted everything I did and sucked all the joy out of being at home.
So I reframed it.
I decided I would become a House goddess, the CEO/President/Empress of my own domain.
(Even in those days I knew that if you change your label, you could change your life.)
I took control over the area over which I had the most control ~ my house.
Slowly but surely, things began to change.
I took baby steps ~ a chore a day rather than an exhausting marathon of cleaning. I did some major decluttering because having less stuff meant less to dust and organize and made my house seem bigger.
I even found a way to love washing dishes!
This was the birth of LOA Nesting, although at the time, I never thought I’d be teaching it. I just wanted to feel better IN-and-about my home.Sweetheart, resentment and a woe-is-me attitude doesn’t make anyone happy, including and especially YOU.
It eats away at your energy, your self worth, your relationship with your kids and your sex life with your spouse. It can cost you money, and time, and joy.
So STOP IT!
STOP IT IMMEDIATELY!
You are a goddess!
You are the sovereign queen of your home
and it’s time you felt (and behaved!) that way.
It’s time to take back your goddessiness and make your home into the sanctuary you deserve.
You do not have to become a Martha clone, or even a house goddess, but you do need to get rid of the ‘I hate housework’ energy and replace it with ‘I love my home and that’s why I keep it nice’.
You have a choice.
You can carry on being a martyr, keep focusing on how much you hate housework, and making yourself and everyone else around you utterly miserable;
you can do one of these three things …
- Outsource it …. to a child, a spouse, a machine or a maid. Do it with grace and firmness – but do remember, angel, that there has to be a give and take.Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that if your partner is the solo breadwinner and you’re home all day, it’s your job to run the house. Don’t expect him to have to clean/cook/babysit when he gets home.Now before you get your knickers in a knot, let me clarify.I’m not saying he shouldn’t have time with the kids, or pitch in to help, or cook if he loves it. I’m saying that YOU are the CEO of your home, and the organization, routines, day-to-day functioning of your household is up to you.If you’re BOTH earning, then split the house management up as you see fit. This is what partnership and marriage is all about.Talk about what each of you likes doing, hates doing, and is fine with leaving undone. Talk about what your ‘perfect home’ might look like and see if you agree. Or can find a compromise. Find what works best for you as a couple and work as a team to make it a reality.In my 31 years of marriage, my Husband Muffin has never cooked a meal or changed a diaper, but he provided the money so that I could be home while our kids were growing and I thank him by having a tidy house and dinner on the table when he gets home.
- Share it … have the kids take turns. Or make it into a game with the little ones and play “race the timer”. Or maybe if you wash, your husband dries. He vacuums, you dust.Again, you’re blessing your home with care and attention. Focus on how good it feels when it’s done, not on how much you’d rather not be doing it, and find ways to make it easier and quicker.
- Embrace it … change your attitude, count your blessings and get on with it.Celebrate the fact that you have a roof over your head and loved ones to care for. Find little ways to make your chores more pleasurable, and then celebrate how good you feel when it’s done. Leonie Dawson talks about creating a Goddess Haven. It’s an outside reflection of you … and it deserves your care and attention.
We all have history of housework being used as a punishment or a chore.
I talk about this in LOA Nesting, because, darling heart, blessing of your home is an act of self-care and love.
By doing the ordinary, repetitive things, you make your home a safe and beautiful sanctuary, you make your life luscious.
You up-level your standards and you reflect what you believe you’re worth.
In doing them with a grateful and happy heart, you say to the Universe, “Look! I’m a great steward to what I have. I’m ready for more of the good stuff.”
If you decide to hand a task over to someone else, do so with confidence and dignity. No manipulation. No whining.
But whichever way you choose to deal with it, the ‘I Hate Housework’ blues must end.
You’re so much more glorious than that.
So, how to you feel about housework, angel? Love it? Hate it? Don’t do it at all?
Do share your thoughts in the comments below … especially if you have some useful tips on how you handle housework.