Jacqueline Gates

Leading Lady Skills for Acting-As-If

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How to Complain Effectively (ie like a goddess would… if she had to… which she does.)

October 14, 2010 by Jacqueline Gates Filed Under: Goddess at Home, Goddess Mindset

Dahlings, this goddess is, quite frankly, Miffed!

miffed /mɪft/

–adjective  put into an irritable mood, esp. by an offending incident:  I was miffed they didn’t invite me to the party.

Allow me to explain. You see, Dear Hearts, a few of the windows on my goddess nest have developed a nasty opaqueness ~ and no, its not due to any lack of window washing skills so get that uncharitable though out of your heads!!

Apparently the seal between the two panes has been breached  which means that I either (a) have to get them repaired, or (b) suffer high heating bills and cold toes this winter.

AND, to add insult to metaphorical injury, it would appear that the manufacturers of said windows do not warranty them if you are not the Original owner of the house!

I ask you!

One would think they deliberately manufacture windows with a lifespan of only the average time a house is owned by one person?(ie less than 10 years!)

Sort of like those sneaky production techniques like the one that makes your toaster explode two days after the warranty expires.

But I digress.

This is not really about my windows. Well, it is, but only partly.

I wanted to illustrate to all you Scrumptious Readers the difference between Complaining and what I like to call: Stating a Situation that needs to be Addressed.

You see, in my family, I’ve always been the one sent to Customer Service to do a return, or to make the phone call to report a problem, or to get the neighbor to pick up the pile of freebie newspapers coagulating on his driveway.

You know, the kind of situation that one looks forward to with as much enthusiasm as a dentist visit.

But I never have any trouble with this.

And I almost always get my way.

Without upsetting the other person, I might add.

I have come to the conclusion that this falls under the heading of UnCelebrated Skills That Will Get You Far In Life.

and I know I’m sound nauseatingly repetitious – but as always, it comes down to Mindset.

Getting back to my windows ~ there are two ways I could have gone about dealing with this.

Here’s the first …

Or there’s this option ..

Which do you think got me further in my quest for non-leaky windows?
But you see, the difference was not in the questions or objective. The difference was in MY approach.

In his brilliant book, The Success Principles, Jack Canfield talks about the ERO formula.

EVENT > RESPONSE > OUTCOME

Basically, one cannot change the Event, no matter how much one tries or would like to, since it’s in the past and going back in time is a goddess-y skill yet to be mastered by any of us.

So if one wants to change the Outcome, the only thing one can/must change is one’s Response to the catastrophe. irritation. Event.

Therefore,  it would be wise to follow these few commandments :-

  • Do NOT whine, pout and/or feel hard done by/screwed over, or that the universe is out to get you. It is what it is. Put on your big girl panties and Deal with it. Nicely.
  • Do NOT go into the conversation feeling that all Customer Service people are morons/zombies/two-steps-from-senility and out to make life as miserable as possible for the rest of us. Remember, they have a crappy job and your getting your knickers in a knot isn’t going to make them glow with a desire to grant your every wish.
  • Focus on your desired outcome, how happy you’ll be when you have it, and engage Cooperation in the quest.
  • If you absolutely, definitely can’t do any of the above without blowing a gasket, go for a walk/scream at the wall/ eat a whole bar of chocolate/meditate/kickbox/whatever it takes to get yourself into a more amenable frame of mind.
  • And smile, goddammit!

But of course, if none of this works for you, feel free to scream, curse, question their parentage and generally be a pain in the arse to anyone even remotely capable of solving your disaster. problem. event.

And, dahlings, do let me know how that works for you.

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