So, to continue our conversation from last week, I’d like to clarify what I think has been lacking in my own approach to goal setting.
All too often I thought I was aiming toward a specific goal when, in fact, what I really wanted is the Feeling I thought achieving that goal would provide.
Perhaps you’ve done this too?
- The goal is to lose weight ~ We Say it’s to be healthier but we really want (ie our intent) is to feel drop-dead sexy;
- The goal is to make more money ~ but what we really crave is to feel financially safe and secure;
- We want to work from home ~ but what we really want is that feeling of being in control of our time, our work, our lives.
Let’s take these examples just a little further …
- What happens when you DECIDE to go on a low calorie diet to lose that beastly extra 20lbs of baby fat?
(Yes, the baby’s 21 years old but this is not about me!)
You might, through sheer will power, lose the poundage but you still don’t feel sexy so the weight returns, right?
Now what if you pursued Feeling Sexy instead?
- You take up belly dancing because it feels good to revel in your curvaceousness;
- You start eating like the French do, tiny decadent portions with a glass of your favorite red wine?
- Throw in some candlelight and sparkly dinnerware and suddenly you’re not eating as much and the weight’s magically dropping away.
- You want to make more money (who doesn’t?) so you throw yourself into hours of extra work and kissing up to the boss, but you end up on the pink slip list anyway when the company struggles.Or you join a network marketing company to create a second income stream, and within two months your friends are avoiding you.
And to make matters worse, your wife won’t talk to you anymore because she doesn’t like the person you’ve become.What if you focused instead on your intent to feel safe and secure?
- You adjusted your budget and become a good steward of what you do have, and even though you don’t like to dwell on the possibility of hard times, you start a Cushion Fund because it feels good;
- you begin studying the basics of investing so that you can take charge of your own portfolio and save yourself the broker fees;
- in doing so you surprisingly find that you love this investing stuff and you start sharing your new-found passion with friends.
- Very soon you’ve got a newsletter going, speaking engagements and people are paying you to guide them.
- And then you realize that you are safe and secure because you’ll always be able to generate an income with what you’ve learned.
I have only just realized the subtlety of this distinction.
You see, I joined SIX network marketing companies in an effort to “Make more money”, but what I really, really wanted was to Empower myself. And then show others how to do the same.
So of course, none of those businesses worked succeeded, (duh!) until I quit everything and began to hone in on my intent.
- I gave up on everyone else’s agenda and focused on Being Me;
- I became a Goddess, quite by accident;
- and I discovered I had a passionate desire to inspire other women to do the same.
I would never have found that out if I had stuck with my goal of growing an MLM team, because I wasn’t happy doing it!
“When you finally allow yourself to trust joy and embrace it, you will find you dance with everything.” ~ Emanual
So, my scrumptious ones, when you find yourself contemplating the year past and formulating plans for 2011, allow this new awareness to guide you in your goal setting.
- Look over your past unfulfilled goals and give some thought to what Feeling you were trying to accomplish through that goal.
- Write the feeling down in an Action Statement. For example, if you want to feel financially secure, you could say “Today I’m finding endless opportunities to feel like I have enough money for my needs. I love feeling secure and safe.” Finish your statement with “This is what I’m intending, this or something better.”
- Keep yourself open to ways of feeling more secure. Perhaps you balance your checkbook, or only buy the groceries that are actually on your list, or update your resume to be ready for a job interview. Or pick up the phone to book that home party. Whatever you can do, do it.
- Rinse and repeat.
Take action when you feel good doing so.
And watch the magic happen.
Because when your goals align with your intent ~ the universe conspires on your behalf.
Dahlings, if you liked this post, do invite your friends to the conversation by sharing it on FB or twitter. And don’t forget to comment below so we can chat!
Keep that statement with you and read it OFTEN, preferably out loud but at least several times a day.