Saturday, February 25th, 2012 seemed like it was going to be like any other Saturday evening.
And totally NOT the life-changing, momentous, soul-shifting watershed it turned out to be.
Paging through the Netflix menu, I suggested to The Center Of My Universe that we watch “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead“.
And something clicked inside me.
Let me backtrack a little.
I began this year in the doldrums of indecision about my future, my business, life in general.
My brilliant mentor had moved out of my life,
and I was guide-less and lost.
I was stuck in limbo-land,
unable to decide between building a network marketing business
(since I’d found a product that really worked!)
or diving into coaching more fully,
(since my clients were soaring and referred to me as their “secret weapon”)
There was so much noise,
so much advice,
so much external influences swaying me this way and that.
Every day, I’d get quiet in my beautiful sanctuary,
and ask myself, “What do I need to know today?”
Slowly, the doors started opening “where before there were only walls”, as Joseph Campbell said.
I began to do the Morning Pages that Julia Cameron suggests in both The Artist’s Way and The Prosperous Heart: Creating a Life of “Enough”, pouring out my soul and poison onto pages of freehand scrawl.
I was introduced to the utterly brilliant Crystal Andrus
and began her 21 Day Create & Sustain Success course.
(Good thing it was free, as I’d also decided not to spend any more money until I found my direction!)
Then, on one of her calls, Crystal suggested asking your body for guidance.
It seemed to be just another twist to listening to your inner voice, but I went ahead anyway …
I asked my body, “What do you want me to know?”
And quietly, defiantly, a small voice spoke up.
“I’m trying so hard to be what you want me to be – thin, fit, vibrant, sexy – but you keep sabotaging me! You feed me good stuff one meal and sugary crap the next. You exercise in spurts, so I never have time to build on the work I’ve done. And you wonder why you don’t improve! There’s no continuity. It’s always two steps forward and one back and no progress. And then you get all depressed and eat three apple fritters which makes my work even harder.
But I’m trying, I really am. But I don’t feel loved. Just either demanded of, or taken for granted.”
Oh. My. God.
Ever heard the saying, “As within, so without”?
All of this… this STUFF … was showing up in my outside world.
- In my marriage ~ because even though I know in my heart of hearts that my darling husband absolutely adores me,
I was feeling ‘unloved’ because he didn’t “show” me;
- Feeling taken advantage of ~ by my kids, clients, internet gurus;
- In my business ~ not following through on leads, ideas, flashes of brilliance;
- With my weight ~ nothing to show for nearly 22 years of almost constant dieting;
- The pile of half-done projects on my sewing table was further proof.
This is where I was when I watched that movie.
And as the credits rolled, that same small, insistent voice said,
On Sunday morning I went to the grocery store and filled my cart with green veggies and fruit.
I went to the storage unit and excavated the juicer.
(Why is what you need always at the bottom of the pile?)
And I began.
On day 8, I posted to Facebook that I was FLYING.
On day 18, I went to a party at an old friend’s house and knew that I could eat whatever I wanted because I had the power to repair any ‘damage’ within a few days. The following morning I went back onto juicing with ease and grace and satisfaction.
The 2lbs I put on that night slipped away within 48 hours ~ totally unheard of for a goddess who used to take a week just to lose the water weight from one Chinese dinner!
THIS is the power of true, natural nourishment.
THIS is the power of listening to your inner voice.
THIS is life as it should be.
I’ve done nearly 23 days now, with just that one party break,
and I am clearer, and calmer and more centered than I’ve ever been.
I no longer look outside for guidance, only for a mirror to reflect back my options.
The decision is based on how I FEEL.
And it’s starting to show up in my heart-life, my business, my money and my home.
There’s sound scientific evidence for this, but it’s only common sense.
When your body is cluttered with chemicals, preservatives and all the other crap they put in food these days,
you are basically living life in a fog.
And sweetie, that’s no life at all.
It’s like trying to shine your glorious, brilliant 1000W light through a 30W light bulb.
One of my delicious coaching clients hit the same wall recently.
She’d been feeling … odd. Off balance. A bit emotional. A lot overwhelmed.
As I rummaged around, diving into what she was saying,
listening deeply to what she wasn’t saying,
it struck me that she was going through exactly what I’d been feeling.
“Are you still juicing, honey?”
Turns out, she wasn’t.
After months of having a green juice a day, she’d been eating every carb she could lay her hands on,
and she was paying the price in confusion, irritation, frustration and tears.
In my next post, I’ll give you all the details about HOW I did the fast, what I juiced and what I did to calm the hunger pangs.
But for now, I want you to know something.
You are Meant to be Healthy, Vibrant and Energetic.
You are Meant to be Productive, Prosperous and Powerful.
Your body is constantly striving towards its perfect weight and optimum health.
It is the instrument through which you VIEW and CREATE your world.
If your business, house, LIFE feels out of whack, cluttered and struggle-filled,
you have the power to change that.
It begins by going within.
Bliss-ings, health and oodles of hugs,
PS We’re all adults here, right? You know that if you have health issues you need to consult your doctor before you do anything drastic. I’m only an expert in MY OWN health, as I believe you are too, but you still need to be sensible, ok?