I’ve never been one for Commandments ~ I have always had a visceral aversion to being Told what, and what not to do. (Might have something to do with my convent schooling, but then I blame that for a Lot of stuff!)
So rather than lay down the law about how you should behave on Facebook, I thought I’d fulfill the Day 2 requirement of my 31DBBB (write a list post) by posting a mini rant about the things I’d really rather you didn’t do when visiting my page …
So here are
My 7 I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts
~ Facebook edition
- I’d really rather you didn’t send an anonymous friend request with no message or even a suck-up type compliment to introduce yourself.As of this writing, this goddess happens to have 731 pending friend requests. Do you realize how tedious it is to wade through those things? It’s like walking into a cocktail party where everyone’s just standing around and nobody’s talking.Dahlings, do yourself a favor – introduce yourself.Or better yet, tell me how gorgeous/talented/fabulous I am and how your life would not be worth living if I didn’t accept your friend request.Or you could tell me something interesting about you. That would work too!
- I’d really rather you didn’t pontificate about your business opportunity all over my wall ~ especially when we’ve only just met.
Actually, I’d rather you didn’t talk about your biz at any time, but especially not in our very first conversation. “Hi, I’m Bob. Wanna hear about my business opportunity? I sell a patented nutraceutical and I can show you how you can make thousands in your first week …”Seriously, dahlings, would you do that at a cocktail party?
If so, it explains why you spend your Saturday nights trolling through FB and not, well, you know, actually socializing.
- I’d really rather you didn’t use your company logo as your avatar.Now while this may be rather picky, going back to the cocktail party analogy, it does seem rather like walking into the room with a brochure plastered to your face.And as for using the blue FB guy with the Cool Whip hairdo ~ can we say ‘Lame’?
Dahlings, you are so much smarter than that. Put your gorgeous, happy, smiliest face up there! It’s not difficult to do and we’d really rather see who we’re talking to.
- I’d really rather you didn’t display your complete ignorance or disregard for the lusciousness of the English language by massacring it in updates and posts.
Dear Ones, there is a spell checker embedded in the system. Using it makes you look smarter and shows attention to detail.
- I really rather you didn’t call me on FB Chat with some inane opening line about my eyes, my marital status or how heaven must be missing an angel.
And don’t you pretend you want to chat and then start blathering on about your patented pharmaceutical. I will just get terribly disappointed in you and start wandering round your page looking for the ‘Block This Person’ button.
Remember when your mother said she was going to take you to the toy store and took you to the dentist instead? Kinda like that.
- I’d really rather you didn’t send me cows, coins, invitations to join your mob or any of the other mindless fluffery that you Dahlings seem to love so much. I have nothing against you doing this – just the same way I have nothing against collecting Beanie Babies or watching soap operas – I just don’t want to distract myself from the lusciously scintillating conversations going on in my virtual lounge.
- And finally, Dear Ones, I’d really rather you didn’t use words that cause others to squirm with discomfort or froth at the mouth.
This includes, but is not limited to – cussing; racism; bigotry; and anything quoted from one of the major religious texts of the world.
Cussing (ie using the same few four-letter words as adjective, noun and verb) is simply an indication of a lazy mind and limited vocabulary. English is a rich, eloquent language ~ use it well or betray your ignorance.
The same goes for quotes espousing whichever religious viewpoint you happen to hold dear.While I’m thrilled and delighted that you have found your spiritual home, I have absolutely no wish to hear about it unless it directly pertains to the current conversation.
Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t share whatever nugget of wisdom makes your soul awaken and your spirit soar, whatever the source – IF it is uplifting and edifying to everyone else.
I’d just rather you didn’t wield the words of some long-dead prophet like a mighty cudgel, swinging wildly in the hope of smacking some ‘sense’ into the minds of the cringing crowd.
It didn’t work back in the day – and it doesn’t work now.Start spouting Biblical phrases on my wall, and this goddess just might post some from the Koran on yours.
As for racism and bigotry ~ well, that’s really just not acceptable no matter who or where you are.
Now, I’m sure you have something to add to this. So feel free to add your comments/opinion/applause to the conversation and don’t forget to opt-in so you don’t miss an invitation to the next party.
Bliss-ings, Dear Ones
the goddess known as Jacqui