Have you ever let a number totally and utterly ruin your day? I was blindsided this morning by two hugely powerful numbers – so powerful they actually made me physically sick.
The first number : 141.9
Not so huge really – everything is relative, right? Could be a good number if it were, say, tips for a few hours work, or the total of phone order for candles. But no. This was the number on my scale this morning. It stared malevelantly up at me, mocking my previous achievement of 133.2 and delivering a body blow (pardon the pun!) that made my head swim. An obvious, indefensible indictment of my complete lack of culinary discipline ever since I left for South Africa in November.
I tried to tell myself it didn’t matter. That I could lose it all in a week or two.But deep in my ever-expanding gut, I knew I was lying to myself – again.
I could hear Rhonda Byrne’s self-satisfied little voice on “the Secret” audiobook telling me that she now maintains her perfect weight of 116lb (coincidentally my perfect weight too) and “can eat whatever I like.”
And my gut whispers back, “That’s obviously not working for you.”
The second number : somewhere between 500 and 1000
MINUS somewhere between 500 and 1000!
The total amount of money I wasted/lost/frittered away last year on my MLM business. Yes, I sold over $2,500 in just 3 home parties – a fact not to be discounted when looking at the huge potential of this business – and had I done more of said events, things would probably have looked a great deal better. But too much “organizing” and not enough actual selling can only result in a loss and a large red figure on the balance sheet.
I just didn’t realize how big a loss it would be. It sort of crept up on me in small payments for candles I didn’t sell and a website nobody visited.
I am so disappointed in myself that my head aches and I am nauseous to the pit of my stomach.
And all the while, there’s this debate going on in my head :
· So , this is going to be … let me see … the FIFTH network marketing company that you’re going to fail at?
· Talking about it is only going to attract more of the same. You know The Secret! Stop focusing on the failure!
· Your husband doesn’t really want you to do this anyway. He doesn’t believe it’ll work.
· But there are so many women out there who are succeeding at this business, when in truth they don’t have your skills or abilities.
· So why do you keep tanking?
· Can’t you ever finish anything?
Aaah, there’s the rub!
It’s all about FINISHING – all about the follow through!
So many things given up on – the weight loss; the business; the innumerable decorating projects littered around my house.
Coincidentally – is there really such a thing as coincidences? – I read a quote by Harv Eker in which he says the reason 99% of people fail at anything is because they give up too early. Or words to that effect.
So here’s the Main, Non-Negotiable Goal and Resolution for 2009 –
Whatever I start, I will Finish! Or I will follow through until I succeed.
And as though the Universe wants to prove that there’s no coincidences – here’s the quote printed on my Starbucks coffee cup this morning –
“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating –
in work, in play, in love.
The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic,
from the fear that likes to dress itself up
and parade around as rational hesitation.
To commit is to remove your head
as the barrier to your life.”
Anne Morriss – Starbucks Customer from NYC